My elder son, Robert, is now 22. I do not know what he is doing, or anything about him. On the day his mother left, he was away on an overnight school trip. It was an adventure for him. He was only 8. I never saw him again, and part of me is still waiting for my little boy to return and tell me about his trip. I keep his favourite teddy in my wardrobe. I have kept as many photos and mementoes of my children as I could. It is the closest I can be to them.